Are you Leading or just Taking a Walk?

Often in young people you get the whole range of self-perception. There are those who others naturally look up to, but do not necessary see themselves as leaders, all the way to those who think they should be the leader, but are not well-received by their peers. Leadership is a very broad topic. There are many types of leadership styles, and there are many different ways to lead (example, vocal, etc.). Leaders need the respect of those around them. You cannot demand to be a leader and be successful. And, as you can see in some of my previous posts on leadership, a successful leader thinks about those they are leading and puts them above themselves. 

Too often a strong personality tries to assume the role as leader. They rub others the wrong way. They belittle those around them instead of building them up. They do what is in their personal best interest instead of the best interest of the team. These types of leaders need to stop and take a look behind them. A leader has followers; if no one is behind you......you are just taking a walk.

I Can

Two simple words, "I can." Both words show up on a kindergarten vocabulary list, but there is nothing elementary about the two words when they are placed side by side. So often we put too much thinking into something we are trying to accomplish: athletic goals, academic success, work, and/ or family responsibilities. The more things linger in our mind, the more we seem to fixate on why we are not, or cannot, achieve what we want to accomplish. Keep it simple. "I can," when said enough times becomes "I CAN!" Set your self on the path to accomplishment. Focus on your strengths and allow yourself to travel down the road leading to success. And, with every step and every obstacle on the way.....say, "I can."

What is most important?

Another season has come and gone and I know I have been really slacking on my posts. As I begin to reflect on the season my mind has become fixed on the question, "What is most important?" When I was a younger coach I would have immediately answered, "Wins and losses!" Now, I find myself looking more at the team and what they have accomplished together, and I look at the individuals who make up the team and how they have progressed through the season and through the years. The seniors have especially sparked my thoughts. From freshman to seniors they have changed immensely. And, change does not only come in the form of softball skill, but as people. This brings me back to my original question, "What is most important?" As a coach and a teacher my greatest sense of accomplishment is seeing the transformation of my players as people. The passion, hard work, commitment, competitiveness, and emotion throughout all of the practices and games helps to form the person they are and are continuing to become. I enjoy seeing the freshman who stood in the background become the senior that all of the other players look to and look up to. The more and more I reflect on the season, the less it becomes about the game of softball and the more it becomes about the softball players. I have enjoyed the season and look forward to preparing for the next, but for now I continue to think of my players and how proud I am of them, and how thankful I am that they let me be a part of their team.

There are NO "Little Things!"

I am sure many of you have heard, "We just have to do the little things to be successful." Turns out that if all you have to do is the "little things" to succeed, those "little things" must not be that little after all. Many aspects of our game, softball, are very easy: playing catch, fielding a ground ball, taking good angles to balls, etc. (I will say that hitting is not among this list) With that said, we still have to devote time and focus to make sure that we are attacking these skills appropriately. There are no "little things" in our game.

We must make sure that we do not fall into the trap of false language. If we continue to say things like, "we would have won if we would have done the 'little things'," we will soon give in to talk like, "we only lost by one run. That isn't too bad." Focus, work hard, and devote time to improving yourself mentally and physically in all aspects and the game will come easy because you focused on the process and your body knows what to do in each and every situation.

What's Your Greatest Obstacle?

My two least favorite excuses, "It's too hard," and "I can't!" I find these comments to be selfish, and usually stated by someone who wants to do the very least possible. Too often athletes complain about things like the heat, the cold, being bored, running a mile, etc. Coach T sent me this video of a young man that shows great determination and heart. I hope that this story is refreshing and opens all of our eyes to what is possible if we work hard, stay committed, and play with heart.

Crusaders For A Cure

Teamwork is defined by Webster as “work done by several associates with each doing a part but all subordinating personal prominence to the efficiency of the whole.” Simply put, sacrificing self for the good of the whole. Great teams work hard together toward a common goal. For the Helias Softball Team that goal is usually tied to the pursuit of a state championship, but for one weekend that goal became something much greater.

On Friday, June 6, through Saturday, June 7, the Helias Softball Team took on their toughest opponent in school history, cancer. The Helias Softball Team became Crusaders For A Cure at the Cole County Relay For Life. Helias Softball players, their parents, and grandparents all took part in the 12 hour event, raising money to help find a cure for a disease that has caused so many people immense pain and suffering. The night was filled with celebrating the victories of cancer survivors and remembering those taken too soon by the disease.

In this extra inning battle that at times seems to have no end, a group of teenage softball players vowed to band together and do their part to ensure victory over the disease. For the entire event at least one member of the Crusaders For A Cure team was on the track in an effort to show their commitment to finding a cure for cancer.

I hope that every team takes the opportunity to be more than a win in the following morning's box scores. I am very proud to be associated with a team whose hard work and dedication could end up being a win for people who otherwise might have little hope.

Living in the Now

History is an important part of our lives. We talk about past experiences remembering the good and the bad. History helps us repeat or refrain from past decisions. But, as an athlete we have to make sure that we do not dwell on negative past experiences.

As athletes we need to live in the present. Clear your mind, focus on the task, and let your preparation take over. In a sport where failing 6 or 7 times at the plate makes you a great hitter, you have to condition your mind to stay focused on the positive and the present. Live in the now! There is plenty of time to prepare your mind before you step into the batters box. The mind is a powerful tool. You have to train yourself to make it your ally, not your foe.

Prepare, be positive, and focus on the present, a quick an easy reminder before you step into the box, or step out on the field.

You Choose

Sleep to noon each and every day
or early rise in the sun to play.
Up for a run or hit the snooze.
It's up to you, You Choose!

Out all night when trouble hits
or a meal at the table where family sits.
Find situations where you can't lose.
It's up to you, You Choose!

Go to practice putting team first
or do not, making them worse.
Make the team better, or refuse.
It's up to you, You Choose!

You make the choice, wrong or right.
Keep your focus, the goal in sight.
Do it right make no excuse.
It's up to you, You Choose!

--BGC--

Heart, Focus, Determination, Courage........Character

I was sent a story that recently took place at Pepperdine University in the Men's Division I Tennis Tournament. The story is very fitting as we prepare to take part in the Relay For Life and as we strive to be committed to our team and our teammates.


Waves Advance to the Sweet Sixteen
Courtesy: Pepperdine Sports Information
Release: 05/11/2008

Courtesy: Pepperdine Athletics

MALIBU, Calif. — In an amazing show of heart, strength and determination, Andre Begemann helped lead the Pepperdine men’s tennis team to a 4-2 victory over Stanford University, Saturday afternoon, in round two of the NCAA Division I Tennis Tournament. Begemann had received a phone call from his father in Germany last night, with the news that his mother had just passed away after a long battle with cancer.

“I knew she was very sick on Friday and I wanted to go home,” said Begemann. “I spoke with her Saturday morning and she asked that I stay and play in the tournament. My tennis career meant so much to her.”

Begemann asked Coach Steinberg not to tell the team prior to the match. He wanted his teammates focused on beating Stanford. With only three hours of sleep, a subdued but focused Begemann struggled in doubles, and then came back with a vengeance in singles. It was fitting that his was the first singles match to finish and to tie the match with Stanford. After his victory, he sat on the bench with his head in his hands and a bright red towel wrapped around his neck while he struggled to keep his composure. His performance was nothing short of courageous and a tremendous tribute to a mother who meant the world to him.

“It was the most incredible match I’ve ever coached,” said Coach Adam Steinberg. “Andre played with so much heart under the circumstances. I’ve never coached in a situation like that and I hope I never have to again.”

In front of a crowd of over two hundred spectators, both teams gave it their all. Few among the crowd knew of the personal struggle on court one.

“This is a young man who honored his mother and played his best among the best in the country,” said Pepperdine Athletic Director John Watson. “He played with so much love and emotion that it was overwhelming.”

All too often athletes complain about having a bad day or not feeling well as an excuse to their performance. I think this story puts things into perspective. Most of the things we have to fight through are no where near as significant as Andre's loss. I applaud Andre's decision to stay and play, but it would have been just as courageous for him to go home and be with his family. He made his decision, and regardless of the lack of sleep and the deep emotional pain, he gave his absolute all for his team, his teammates, and his mom.

What will be Your Legacy?

In high school athletics only one thing is certain, you will only have, at maximum, four years to be part of a team. All members of the team leave something behind, some legacy that others remember. Some legacies have lasted for decades, while others are just a ghostly vapor that fades over time. Be a lasting legacy!

It is important that we determine our definition of “legacy.” Some believe a legacy is all about them and what they will be remembered for, such as how great a pitcher they were or how great a hitter they were, or records they have set. If this is your definition of legacy, then your legacy lives and dies with your records staying intact. How much greater is a legacy that is left behind to benefit all players for all time, a legacy that benefits Helias Softball first and foremost?

My hope is that you are remembered for who YOU are. Remembered for you as a person first and a player second. Remembered for the commitment you had to be your best in order for your team to be its best. Remembered for the confidence you had in yourself and your teammates no matter what the odds or the situation. Remembered for the character you displayed when you served your teammates, your friends, your school, your family, and those in need. Remembered for the routines you left behind to be repeated by the countless new faces that will be added to Helias Softball year after year. Remembered for your living legacy, a legacy that defines the personality of a team that you put your heart and soul in and breathed life into. You have a choice as to how you will be remembered by what you will leave behind for the future.

What will be your Legacy?

"The measure of a man's real character is what he would do if he knew he would never be found out." Thomas Macaulay

Remarkable Story of Character

Most of the stories we hear about, read about, or watch on television that deal with athletes are very negative. Athletes using performance enhancing drugs, abusing alcohol, and displaying lewd conduct seem to be an everyday occurrence. There is a story that took place on a softball field in the State of Washington on April 27, 2008, that absolutely touched my heart. It is a story of what being an athlete is all about. A story of true character that I will not forget in my lifetime. The story is more powerful if you watch it. I have placed two videos on this post. The first is a great telling of the story. the second video is an ESPN interview with the players involved. I hope that we can display this same character in our upcoming summer and fall seasons, but more importantly I hope that we can display great character in our every day lives. If you would like to read more about the story it is on ESPN's website, The Early Show's website, and Good Morning America's website. Enjoy!

Our Journey

A sunny day, work to be done, and jay birds fly upward toward the sun,
but I'll work hard and I'll fly higher, than any jay bird could ever aspire.

The bulldogs growl and bark away, and hornets buzz around all day,
but I am swift and they don't bother me, a cloud of dust is all they will see.

And owls and lakers lazily sleep, fading away without even a peep.
I'll leave them be, all snug in their slumber, to nightmares and fear of me and my lumber.

Falcons soar and are very proud, while pirates on shore are boisterous and loud
I stay humble just doing my best, and leave them behind to weep with the rest.

Spartans are ancient from days of old and Kewpies are babies, they are not bold,
but I am committed to all that I do, and when they look in my eyes, they see it too.

Bulldogs again! We took care of that, and Comets have no hands to hold onto a bat.
I'm on a team that works hard together, and what we have planned will live on forever.

Pirates again with patches on their eyes, and bruins are strong, but don't search for the prize.
Tigers are powerful and like to attack, but I am confident I can tame them with my team at my back.

My journey has seen many fine sights, many that would cause most people a fright.
And although my adventure seems to come to an end, it start right back over with Districts my friend.

Purpose, preparation, and confidence at my side, commitment and courage ride right next to Pride.

A Crusader am I mounted high on my steed, and along with my teammates Blue and Gold's what we bleed.

With one goal in mind we control our own fate and no mascot will hinder our journey to STATE.

--BGC--

Actions Speak Louder.....Keep Your Cool

You've been there, the heat of competition, game is close, and tension begins to mount. Emotions swirl around and you find that your mind is so cluttered that any sense of clarity has passed by. Hopefully someone, a coach, captain, or some team leader, stepped up and had something to say. If you are like me, you may not remember a word coming out of the person's mouth. Turns out that the words are not that important anyway.

Most athletes in a time of high stress remember the actions, nonverbal communication, and tone of those who step up to lead, more so than the actual words. Unfortunately, too many of us recall these moments where someone either tries to rally everyone by yelling and screaming, or by someone who is so stressed out themselves they put you in a more unsettled place. Ideally the coach or team leader that steps forward is a person who can keep their cool. Someone whose composure is never in question. Someone whose very nature, regardless of actual words spoke, puts you in a more relaxed state, aiding you in performing at your highest level.

As leaders, keeping your composure is of the utmost importance. I have said before that the leaders of a team have a major impact on the teams personality. Those players who are looked up to by their peers tend to be the pulse of the team. If the leaders show anxiety, tentativeness, and a lack of confidence, it will spread throughout the team like a virus. If the leaders are composed, confident, aggressive, and courageous, these qualities will also find their way into the play of their teammates. Keep your cool and be consistent. Lead with the same spirit whether in a close game or a nail biter. In many cases the composure of a team's leaders is the difference between winning 1-run games and losing 1-run games.

"Leadership is a matter of having people look at you and gain confidence, seeing how you react. If you're in control, they're in control." Tom Landry, former Dallas Cowboys Coach

Great Expectations

When I was young I dreamed of 3-2 counts bases loaded and hitting the ball out of the park, throwing a game winning touchdown, and hitting the game winning shot at the buzzer. There were no limitations and the sky was the limit. No one made me live in their version of "reality." I am sure there was a time in your life when you felt the same freedom. When did we start "playing it safe?" When did we begin telling ourselves, "be real, you can't do that," or worse, listening to others tell us what we can and can't do? Fear of failure and lowering the bar to make sure we can succeed has become too much of the norm.

It is time to revert back to our childhood! It is time to play without fear and bask in the glory of the successes we lived out in the minds of our childhood selves. Raise the bar and live in a time of Great Expectations. It is time to once again reach for the stars instead of keeping our feet planted on the ground where we try to control our performances by being watered-down, "safe" athletes.

In order to truly have a memorable season, a season of no regrets, there has to be high expectations. We need to stretch ourselves. It is time to once again let our feet leave the ground and BELIEVE that we can reach new heights, and turn a deaf ear to the mumblings around us that try to stifle our flight.

"Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?" Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." Marianne Williamson, Author

My bad...

I had the opportunity to watch parts of a softball tournament last weekend and a player from one of the St. Louis teams made a comment that brought back memories from my own playing days. The comment, "My bad." A once prevalent saying amongst teammates has fallen by the wayside. The comment is so simplistic, but shares so much about the person speaking it.

A ball hit to short, fielded and thrown high to 1st base. The first baseman jumps with the ball barely nicking the glove and carrying on to the fence. First basemen runs down the ball, gets it back in the circle, and simply says, "My bad." That's right....the first basemen says it. It is a concept that needs to be renewed. Was it technically the first basemen's fault the play wasn't made, no, but by taking responsibility it helps the thrower of the errant toss relax and continue to play. Some argue that you should not take responsibility for a bad play if it isn't your fault. I like to look at the bigger picture. A simple statement may diffuse the emotions of the person who really fell short allowing them to play more focused. The person taking responsibility may work harder to come up with those difficult plays helping out their teammate and their team later on.

It is funny how seemingly little things spread throughout a team, good and bad. Once one person steps up and takes responsibility for themselves or maybe even someone else, I believe it will spread like wildfire. People take responsibility for their play and everyone else rallies around them instead of grinding the mistake into their teammate who already feels bad.

If you agree, I hope you will put this line of thinking into practice. If you totally disagree all I can say is, "my bad."

It's You that Makes Me Great!

Heat of battle all around,
What will be my fate?
Whether I am up or down
it's you that makes me great!

Your cheers I hear above it all.
You bring out my best traits.
And when its time to play ball
it's you that makes me great!

So when we celebrate as we should,
trophy held high at State.
know it's because together we stood
and you helped make me great!

--BGC--

What Builds Your Confidence?

The question I posed to many athletes, "What builds your confidence?" It is a question that didn't require too much time for answers to pour out. Here are some of the common answers:
* Being prepared
* Parents in the stands
* Being in the "zone"
But, the number one answer given was, "The support and cheers of my teammates."

Ironically most people feel that their teammates support is important for their confidence, but individuals fail to give their all to support their teammates to offer them that same confidence. A change in mentality must occur in order to create the best environment for the team. Again, it comes down to choosing to be a little less selfish and a bit more of a servant. Think of this scenario, all of the players on a team are most concerned with cheering on and supporting their teammates. What would that do for the teammates? What would that do for the individual? My guess is that if everyone chose to do their absolute best supporting their teammates, they would receive the same in turn. What would a game be like if each player gave their unbridled support to each teammate from start to finish? What would a season be like? Make it a goal to find out.

"The most important thing in good leadership is truly caring. The best leaders in any profession care about the people they lead, and the people who are being led know when the caring is genuine and when it's faked or not there at all. I was a demanding coach, but my players knew that I cared for them." Dean Smith, former North Carolina Men's Basketball Coach

If it was all about Me

I would be so proud of all I've done
Say "Look at me and how fast I run!"
I'd show the world I'm strong and free
If it was all about me.

I would always swing for the fence.
shake off pain without a wince.
Work hard for what my stats should be
If it was all about me

I'd say, "I had a fantastic game!"
and, "I wish my teammates could say the same."
I would love standing out for all to see
If it was all about me

But, being my best and giving my heart
to help my TEAM stand apart
Lifting my TEAM higher than the trees
is what I choose my role to be

I compete and train to reach OUR goal
Pushing each other to fulfill our roles
"Join me, join me!" is my plea
that's what I choose my role to be

Preparing together to make the TEAM great
With everyone's eyes focused on STATE.
Working together I'm sure you'll agree
Is better than making it all about me.

--BGC--

Cause and Effect

I have recently been thinking about cause and effect. Doesn't sound like your run of the mill thought, but after doing some reading, this concept keeps spinning around in my head.

So many times we sit around to see what is going to happen. We are in a game and we get stuck in the worlds of "Hope" and "Wonder." How many of us have had a thought similar to, "I hope this happens, so that we win," or, "If this would have happened, I wonder if it would have made a difference." Many times we sit back and react to situations as they occur. We let things play themselves out and we just deal with the effects. What if we were to change our thoughts and practices from dealing with the effects from causes we just allow to happen, and begin being the causes?

If we could be the cause, then we could have greater control of the effects. Here is a situation: we practice 1st and 3rd defense. We are focused and practice every possible scenario. We are prepared when we meet this challenge in a game. In most games the offense is considered to be in control. They force the defenses hand. Turn it around and give the control to the defense because of their hard work and preparation and now the defense causes the offense to make a mistake or play the guessing game as to what the defense will do.

Why wait around and see what is going to happen when you can play a major role in narrowing down or predicting the outcome? We place ourselves in control, which greatly increases the self-confidence of the individual and the confidence of the team. I have seen teams that were losing, but you would never know it. Their presence was one of confidence and even though their opponent was winning, the opponent played with fear. The opponent is now playing not to lose rather than to win, which greatly enhances the chances of the team playing with confidence.

Choose to be the "cause," choose confidence in any and every situation.

"Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?" Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." Marianne Williamson, Author

Training through Discipline

When most young people think of the word "discipline" a shutter goes over them. Immediately thoughts of being grounded or parents getting on them, pop into their heads. Hopefully, after reading this post you will have a different outlook on discipline.

Here is a dictionary definition of discipline:
American Heritage Dictionary - Cite This Source - Share This
dis·ci·pline (dĭs'ə-plĭn) Pronunciation Key n.
1. Training expected to produce a specific character or pattern of behavior, especially training that produces moral or mental improvement.
2. Controlled behavior resulting from disciplinary training; self-control.

These definitions should bring a positive light. Discipline can come from many different angles, I probably should say "will come from many angles." As individuals we are going to need to decide how we are going to respond to discipline.

Self-discipline is very important. Individuals need to be able to train themselves physically an mentally. It all starts with attitude. No one can make choices for you. Coaches will discipline as well. A coaches role is to help players improve physically and mentally in order to make the team better. Sometimes that includes helping a player, or players, refocus. What the individual players do with that discipline is completely up to them.....again, attitude! Finally, discipline may also come from fellow players. This may be the most beneficial or the most difficult discipline. If a teammate is helping you out with a drill or concept to make you better, they are helping your discipline. If a teammate is confronting you, hopefully in a positive manner, because of a destructive behavior, you have to decide if you are going to be mature and do what is best for yourself and your team, or you can be immature and damage relationships and the team. Again...attitude!

Discipline is necessary in order to be successful. Train to produce more refined skills. Train to produce moral and mental improvement. Most importantly, train yourself to think about your attitude. Keep it in check and the decisions you make will not only benefit you, but it will strengthen your team.

"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." Hebrews 12:11