Nothing's Impossible

"That's impossible!" Something that I have heard more times than I can count, especially in the realm of athletics. The statement is very TRUE. It is true because our mind makes it true. We have already set a limit on what we can and can't do. The statement usually comes up when playing a formidable opponent. For example, I coached a team who ended up playing the previous year's state champ. The game was lost before we even showed up to play. Players began saying, "at least we made it this far, and we have had a good season..." Our bodies have a habit of conforming to our minds.

Team leaders and captains have to fully believe they can achieve their goals. Players on a team look up to their leadership to set the tone. Players on a team will live up to the expectations of their leadership. If the team leaders have a horrible and/ or defeated attitude, it will infiltrate the rest of the team.

I have added a clip from "Facing The Giants." The clip has a good message, "Nothing is Impossible." It also shows how important the leader is to his team and his coach. I hope you enjoy the clip.

Leadership Development: Generations Past & Present

This post is mostly geared toward coaches, but I would be very interested to hear what parents and players think about it.

Many coaches believe that finding well prepared leaders is becoming harder and harder. Some coaches and researchers believe that it has to do with the changes over time. My generation and those prior will remember spending time after school and summer days out at the park or the ballfield. No parents, just neighborhood kids getting together to play baseball, basketball, soccer, etc. Many leadership skills were developed those days. Kids would pick the teams, make the rules, and resolve their own conflicts. Those times are no longer with us.

Today's athletes do not get the same advantage of developing leadership skills early. Not many parents will allow their kids to head off to a park on their own in today's world. In order to ensure that kids will still have an outlet for energy and sport, parents have formed many leagues or activities for their kids. What has happened is that kids are now in an adult dominated environment. The adults pick the teams, umpire the games, tell the kids where to play, and so on. This has decreased the amount of players that come into programs with "natural" leadership ability.

I am far from saying that parents are disabling their kids, nor am I saying that they should allow their kids to go off to the park unsupervised. I know that I wouldn't consider letting my son run around on his own. What I am saying is that, as a society, we have found ways to allow our children to play in safe, supervised environments, but have not found a way to supplement for the loss of leadership and problem solving situations. Coaches, parents, and those that work with young athletes need to train them as well as give them opportunities to make decisions and problem solve. Many athletes want to be leaders. They want to step up and help move a team past its potential. They just do not know how to do it. We need to feed their hunger to lead and not assume that they know what we are talking about when we ask them to lead.

My plan for Helias is to put a leadership training program in place so that our leadership base will reciprocate year to year. Many coaches believe that a team with great talent and no leadership travels a shorter distance than a team of talented athletes with great leadership. I am among those coaches.

"To every man there comes in his lifetime that special moment when he is figuratively tapped on the shoulder and offered a chance to do a very special thing, unique to him and fitted to his talents. What a tragedy if that moment finds him unprepared or unqualified for the work which would be his finest hour." Winston Churchill

That's Not My Responsibility.....or is it?

Recently I spoke to a team about Team Leaders. Leaders are athletes who are looked up to by their teammates for one reason or another. This leads me to this.......Leaders have a very important responsibility. Leaders on a team have much more than themselves to think about. They did not ask for the responsibility, but it is theirs none the less. What leaders do with this responsibility has a major effect on how the team performs.

If you are an athlete that is a leader, or if you are training to be a leader on a team in the future, take some time to think about the responsibility. Leading is more work than honor. Good leaders are humble and work to make the team the best it can be. Team leaders may be put in the spotlight at times, but they should not be concerned with getting themselves in the spotlight. Be more concerned with helping to resolve problems among teammates, encouraging, motivating, and communicating with the coaches so that everyone is on the same page. Develop your leadership ability through books, videos, other leaders, and any other means that are available to you. These skills will stay with you well past your individual sport and you, along with those you come in contact with, will be better for it.

"Leadership is one of the most observed and least understood phenomena on earth." James MacGregor Burns, Leadership Author

Relax...Laugh a little

I spent last weekend in Louisiana. I had the opportunity to speak to the West Ouachita High School Softball Team. We spoke about the power of positive thinking, the importance of Team, the responsibility of team leaders, and the need to compete. The girls were very receptive. Heads were nodding, questions were answered, and we even had bouts of laughter. Speaking to the WOHS Softball team reminded me of two things: 1) I love talking about softball and empowering teams and individuals to be better players and teammates. 2) There are so many personalities on a team that can make a Team enjoyable to be around. I would like to write on the latter.

Softball is a sport that teaches so many valuable lessons. One that I hope I never forget is that the Team is made up of very different and unique people. Athletes need to be pressed to be their best and they need to be prepared for game situations, but they also need to learn to relax. There are many tense times, but if every minute of every day is that way, players will soon burn out and forget why they even play the game.

There was more than one moment when the WOHS Softball team reminded me of this. They had just finished winning a game played partially in rainy conditions, miserable by most people's standards. I wondered whether they would come in to listen to me, some unknown person, with a "let's get this over with attitude." But, they listened, laughed, and were high-spirited. Most teams have at least one or more players who just say the right thing at the right time to make everyone cut-up laughing. To some coaches there is no place for laughing and having a "good" time, but I think there is something to be said about laughing, relaxing, and enjoying time with teammates.

Everyone's definition of "fun" is different. My definition is as follows: Fun- having the ability at the end of the day to say that "my team and I did our very best," and being proud of each other for the accomplishments, all the while being excited to come back and do it better tomorrow. As a coach I choose to motivate and encourage in a positive manner as much as I can. When practices get hard a little encouragement can go a long way. And, there needs to be time to relax and laugh a little. There is no reason a little light-heartedness can't be a part of a team sport. Enjoy your teammates and experiences shared, four years is a shorter amount of time than you think!

It doesn't matter if you are training dolphins or motivating your team members, positive reinforcement is the way to go. You don't see trainers at Sea World beating the dolphins with baseball bats when they don't jump through the right hoops. You see them, instead, giving them little fish when they do jump through. Why can't we remember that? Steve Chandler, Leadership Author

Is it OK to compete?

Many experts believe that one of the biggest struggles in female athletics is competitiveness. Male and female athletes have different outlooks, and society itself hinders women from being true competitors.

In her book Reach for the Summit, Tennessee Women's Basketball Coach Pat Summit says, "I've known a lot of women who were reluctant to compete. They either wanted to be liked, or, worse, they felt it was unladylike. I've spent the better part of my career trying to convince them otherwise." Sociologists and other experts on this issue state that men and women have different relationship structures. Men have a hierarchical vertical structure. They are taught to compete against each other to work their way to the top. Women have a web-like structure. The focus for women is to develop strong relationships, not to work their way above one another. Due to these social "norms" females tend to risk social consequences when they compete and strive to separate themselves from the pack.

Former collegiate coach and administrator Kathy DeBoer states, "The males achieved their sense of self from their position in the hierarchy, the females from their position in the web. For males, standing was determined by what they did and how well they did it - performance. It was only peripherally associated with their ability to connect and maintain relationships. For females, standing was determined by their ability to connect and maintain relationships -- acceptance. It was only peripherally associated with their ability to what they did and how well they did it -- performance. The web mindset, defining the world in the framework of connection, does not provide for a legitimate opponent. Head-to-head competition is discouraged, as is self-promotion and one-upsmanship. For women, competing against another becomes a somewhat clandestine and often dangerous affair. Assertiveness must be balanced with cordiality, achievement with appropriate humility, and victory always tempered by acknowledgment of unworthiness."

After all of my research on this topic it seems as though the cards are stacked against the truly competitive female athlete. Although I do not believe that there is a fool-proof solution, I have found that there are many coaches that have created a successful, competitive environment in female athletics. Coaches like Pat Summit, University of Tennessee Women's Basketball Coach who has 7 national titles, and Anson Dorrance, UNC Women's Soccer Coach who has won 19 of the last 26 National Championships, say that they regularly come across athletes, when recruiting, who are looked down upon and/or shunned because of their athletic competitiveness. Those are the athletes they recruit. Now, these college coaches have teams full of competitors which makes their team environment conducive to competition. What do we do at the high school level?

After looking at other coaches’ strategies and writings from sociologists, there are some things we will do at Helias to promote a healthy, competitive environment. First and foremost the athletes will be talked to regarding a lot of what has been said in this post. We will discuss the importance of competing as a means to make the team and each individual player the best they can be. The team needs to hear that just doing what is expected by peers or doing just enough to "fit in" puts limits on the team. Practices will have elements that require healthy competition. Girls will be given an environment where it is acceptable to be the best, without suffering negative comments or being shunned by teammates. It is a lofty goal and a difficult challenge, but it can be done if the leadership of the team is onboard. Like it was discussed in previous posts, the leadership of the team is going to bear a lot of responsibility in determining how well this team will function and perform. I have high expectations of myself and the team leaders, and I believe building a healthy, competitive environment at Helias High School is more than a possibility!

An environment like I wrote about above is important, but it will not solve all of the problems. A true competitor must be courageous and willing to compete no matter what. That is a tall order for a high school girl. As an individual, a player need to know that what they are doing is right and that they are making the team and themselves better no matter the mutterings of those who have settled for mediocrity. You have already read that athletes with competitive natures are sought after by the best of college coaches, and I will not tolerate any comments or actions to the contrary. High school athletics is not all about making friends, it is about learning respect, loyalty, hard work, working as a part of a group, and growing through both success and defeat. All positive social aspects are cherries on top of the sundae. I hope that at Helias we can have it all, but stalling exceptional athletes at an average line set by society or by peers will not have any place in our softball program!

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear." Ambrose Redmoon, American Philosopher

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt

A Parent's Perspective: A Parent's Role

This is geared toward the Helias Softball Parents, but I would appreciate feedback from anyone else that is interested as well, including Helias Players.

Parent's please comment to this post regarding the following question(s):
What do you think your role, or a parent's role, is in a high school athletic program? Or, if you would rather, what would you like your role to be?

I, and other coaches, will express expectations of parents from a coaches perspective in the future, but I thought this is a good way to give parents a forum. There will be more Parent Perspective questions in the future.

Natural Talent vs. Achieved Talent

My youngest brother made a comment on my post suggesting an article regarding natural talent vs. achieved talent. Great idea little brother.

There are so many different thoughts as to what makes the best athletes....those where skills come easy, or those who work hard to achieve what they have. Some say that athletes just can't work hard to get taller, run faster, and things of the like. It is genetics. They don't say that athletes can't work hard to perform better, just there are certain aspects that they have no control over. Some say that most athletes with natural ability tend to get lazy in training because things just come too easy to them. This causes lack of focus, bad fundamentals, and a cocky, not confident, attitude.

I say ability is important, but attitude, mental preparation, and willingness to learn outweigh natural talent AND achieved talent. I will not be sucked into the debate whether one is greater than the other because there would be too many generalizations made.

I coached an athlete in Louisiana who had more than one person's share of talent, but she still wanted to be the best softball player she could be. She worked just as hard if not harder than her teammates and was seen as a positive leader on the team. On that same team I had an athlete who struggled to perform tasks. She was slower than most, had a hard time fielding, and her bat was slow, but she had an absolute passion for the game and she was young, so I figured the akwardness of movement and her coordination would all come together with age. (I began coaching this athlete when she was in Jr. High). Her Senior year she ended up making all of the post season teams and turned out to be a fantastic softball player for the school.

There is also the flip side. The athlete that has tons of ability and grumbles because of the bad team they are on. The player that yells at their teammates instead of assisting them to get better. The player who at the end of the game determines whether it was a good game or not based on how they did, not how the team did. Then there is my least favorite athlete to deal with. The player that does not have natural ability and does not work hard because she believes that she is better than she really is.

Natural talent vs. achieved talent gives me the piture of the two butting heads. Most coaches do not get to choose a team full of athletes that contain all natural athletes or all achieved athletes. So, instead of natural talent vs. achieved talent, a statement of opposites in conflict, I choose natural talent and achieved talent, a statement where the two work together with a common purpose.