Is it OK to compete?

Many experts believe that one of the biggest struggles in female athletics is competitiveness. Male and female athletes have different outlooks, and society itself hinders women from being true competitors.

In her book Reach for the Summit, Tennessee Women's Basketball Coach Pat Summit says, "I've known a lot of women who were reluctant to compete. They either wanted to be liked, or, worse, they felt it was unladylike. I've spent the better part of my career trying to convince them otherwise." Sociologists and other experts on this issue state that men and women have different relationship structures. Men have a hierarchical vertical structure. They are taught to compete against each other to work their way to the top. Women have a web-like structure. The focus for women is to develop strong relationships, not to work their way above one another. Due to these social "norms" females tend to risk social consequences when they compete and strive to separate themselves from the pack.

Former collegiate coach and administrator Kathy DeBoer states, "The males achieved their sense of self from their position in the hierarchy, the females from their position in the web. For males, standing was determined by what they did and how well they did it - performance. It was only peripherally associated with their ability to connect and maintain relationships. For females, standing was determined by their ability to connect and maintain relationships -- acceptance. It was only peripherally associated with their ability to what they did and how well they did it -- performance. The web mindset, defining the world in the framework of connection, does not provide for a legitimate opponent. Head-to-head competition is discouraged, as is self-promotion and one-upsmanship. For women, competing against another becomes a somewhat clandestine and often dangerous affair. Assertiveness must be balanced with cordiality, achievement with appropriate humility, and victory always tempered by acknowledgment of unworthiness."

After all of my research on this topic it seems as though the cards are stacked against the truly competitive female athlete. Although I do not believe that there is a fool-proof solution, I have found that there are many coaches that have created a successful, competitive environment in female athletics. Coaches like Pat Summit, University of Tennessee Women's Basketball Coach who has 7 national titles, and Anson Dorrance, UNC Women's Soccer Coach who has won 19 of the last 26 National Championships, say that they regularly come across athletes, when recruiting, who are looked down upon and/or shunned because of their athletic competitiveness. Those are the athletes they recruit. Now, these college coaches have teams full of competitors which makes their team environment conducive to competition. What do we do at the high school level?

After looking at other coaches’ strategies and writings from sociologists, there are some things we will do at Helias to promote a healthy, competitive environment. First and foremost the athletes will be talked to regarding a lot of what has been said in this post. We will discuss the importance of competing as a means to make the team and each individual player the best they can be. The team needs to hear that just doing what is expected by peers or doing just enough to "fit in" puts limits on the team. Practices will have elements that require healthy competition. Girls will be given an environment where it is acceptable to be the best, without suffering negative comments or being shunned by teammates. It is a lofty goal and a difficult challenge, but it can be done if the leadership of the team is onboard. Like it was discussed in previous posts, the leadership of the team is going to bear a lot of responsibility in determining how well this team will function and perform. I have high expectations of myself and the team leaders, and I believe building a healthy, competitive environment at Helias High School is more than a possibility!

An environment like I wrote about above is important, but it will not solve all of the problems. A true competitor must be courageous and willing to compete no matter what. That is a tall order for a high school girl. As an individual, a player need to know that what they are doing is right and that they are making the team and themselves better no matter the mutterings of those who have settled for mediocrity. You have already read that athletes with competitive natures are sought after by the best of college coaches, and I will not tolerate any comments or actions to the contrary. High school athletics is not all about making friends, it is about learning respect, loyalty, hard work, working as a part of a group, and growing through both success and defeat. All positive social aspects are cherries on top of the sundae. I hope that at Helias we can have it all, but stalling exceptional athletes at an average line set by society or by peers will not have any place in our softball program!

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear." Ambrose Redmoon, American Philosopher

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt